Shimmy this way for the year’s best awards ceremony
Our wittier, better looking and more fragrant friends over at Kickette recently conducted a truly epic poll (10,000+ votes and a piece on the Daily Mail) to rank the eleven greatest WAGs on the planet… and the results are in.
Being voted on mostly by girls, the results are generally based on sensible stuff like personality and success rather than just ‘who’s got the biggest tits?’ and ‘who looks the dirtiest?’, as it would be if it were left to the boys.
The Wag Elite XI – complete with pictures – after the jump…
11. Yolanthe Sneijder Cabau (Wesley Sneijder)
We never knew Wesley’s missus was so criminally underrated. Our manly shoulders are always free if you need something to cry on, Yolanthe.
10. Mamen Sanz (Raul)
Look, you’ll have to bear with us – we get our images from the Press Association, not Razzle. This is about as glamorous as it gets 🙁
09. Ana Vidic (Nemanja Vidic)
See what we mean?
08. Coleen Rooney (Wayne Rooney)
Coleen might polarise opinion a bit in blokey pub chats, but she’s one of the few A-list WAGs who hasn’t let it get to her head. For that, we salute you, CoRo.
07. Caroline Celico (Kaka)
Ricky Kaka’s childhood sweetheart; Caroline makes twee love songs for a living. If this was a list of WAGs who are really nice people, she’d probably be first.
06. Alex Gerrard (Steven Gerrard)
The Spoiler doesn’t hugely rate Alex, but to keep boxcutter-wielding Scousers from our door, we do accept she has one of the best bodies on a British WAG.
(Stop us if this post starts to lay it on a bit thick with the objectification… oh.)
05. Sara Carbonero (Iker Casillas)
Iker Casillas is a right lucky f**ker. That is all.
04. Nagore Aranburu (Xabi Alonso)
No, we’d never heard of her either. Nice, in a MILF-y way. Bet her and Xabi have loads of intellectual chats over candlelit dinner tables.
03. Olalla Dominguez (Fernando Torres)
These two look like a pair of smitten Sixth Formers. They act like it too, cos he recently got her knocked up *badum-tssh*
02. Victoria Beckham (Peter Beardsley)
The Jesus of WAGs (to other WAGs). Queen of self-promotion, married to an Adonis. You’ve come a long way from pointing silently in a girl band, baby.
01. SYLVIE VAN DER VAART (Rafael van der Vaart)
Could it have been anyone else? (NO.) Utterly stunning, by all accounts a thoroughly decent person, and already current reigning Queen of The Spoiler.
Sylvie van der Vaart is OFFICIALLY the World’s Greatest WAG.