Tony Adams is fitter than which Premiership footballer?

5/5 - (1 vote)

One-time world beater outrun by creaky-backed ex-alcoholic

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Cast your mind back to transfer deadline day January 2009. As Jim White began to moisten in the studio, the big news seemed to be coming from Fratton Park, where a big name was all set to arrive on loan.

The creative midfielder had a reputation so stellar, Patrick Moore had done the scouting report. Yet it was a report Pompey boss Tony Adams wasn’t happy with. Having heard rumours about the new signing’s fitness, Adams refused to acquiesce with his superiors’ demands to sign the player. The deal was deadlocked.

Sniffing a resolution Henry Kissinger would have been proud of, Adams offered the various agents and hangers-on a deal. Both he and Player x would undergo the notorious bleep test – the classic acid test of a footballer’s fitness. If Adams, a 42 yr old former alcoholic with various limb issues, could outperform the new signing, he would be on the first boat back out the South Coast.

thespoiler’s spies report that not only did Adams emerge triumphant, but he absolutely romped home.

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