Revealed: The football scarves you must own…

…if you wish to confuse everyone

penetration1

Do you have a penchant for 100 per cent cashmere scarves? Do you have a spare $150? If you answered yes to these questions, and you have a strong desire to antagonize white van drivers and Daily Mail readers, then Wong Wong are here to help.

New York based designer Stephen Wong’s luxury scarf range combine the traditional colours of several European clubs with “traditional football terminology”.

For example, Wong says his ‘Penetration’ scarf is derived from Arsenal’s attacking style. “People say it as a natural [European] football term, but when you take it to a different context, it’s funny,” he reasons.

humpandrun2

Apparently, Celtic are known for their “kick long-and-chase” (!) approach, earning them the ‘Hump and Run’ slogan.

twomancombo3

Apparently, this means “to pass and run into space for the return pass without pausing.” That’ll be a “one-two”, then.

Check out more utterly bizarre (yet strangely endearing) American commentator speak in the rest of the collection after the jump…

doubleteam4

We’re pretty sure this is a basketball term, but Juventus fans don’t speak English anyway, right?

backdoor5

Crystal Palace supporters looking to encourage confusion and violence in the less enlightened Selhurst Park regulars could sport this natty number.

movement6

It seems they’ve given up trying to think of sexually charged innuendo (In-your-end-o!) by this point.

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