Real Madrid plan to open their own theme park

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Florentino Perez envisions ‘Disneyland Madrid’


Concerned that Real Madrid wasn’t having a big enough impact on our lives, Florentino Perez laid the first stone of “Sports City” when he was in charge of the club in 2004. The project was neglected following his 2006 resignation, but now he is back in the hot seat, the Madrid president is keen to bring the club its very own theme park.

Work on the 60-hectare Sports City site will re-commence next spring, and if all goes to plan, ‘Disneyland Madrid’ will open by 2013. Rides such as the ‘Raul Rollercoaster’ (it just keeps going on and on and on), ‘Sergio Ramos’ House of Haunted Hair Straighteners’ and ‘Cristiano’s prostitute fivesome in 3-D’* will entertain up to two million visitors per year.

Perez has reportedly been shopping around for sponsors for the €150m next stage of construction, and has already held meetings with the mayors of Miami and Beijing about the possibility of opening parks in China and the USA.

Although Real Madrid members and season ticket holders will get in cheaper than Joe Public, the Madrid head honcho is keen for the everybody to enjoy the theme park:

“We must ensure that the Sports City will become a destination for all children and adults on the planet who love the game.”

Herein lies the fatal flaw of Real Madrid’s proposed theme park. In the same way that most people won’t want to drive Manchester City cars and drink Manchester City cola (sorry, Garry Cook), the majority of non-Real Madrid supporters (ie the majority of people in the world) will not want to support a theme park that helps pay the wages of their team.

*These rides will only come to pass if Real Madrid accept out proposals. Fingers crossed…

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