Oi oi! Here comes trouble…
Fans of The Apprentice will know the deal – the primary goal is to win, but before that, you need to find a fall guy just in case. A hapless cretin, a weak link, preferably a man/woman with a growing reputation for being a total ninny.
So, to use some popular village hall vernacular – bingo! England have already located their potential scapegoat, in the form of the Brazilian referee Carlos Eugenio Simon, who will be taking charge of their opening match against America’s second favourite variety of footballers come the weekend.
According to today’s Daily Mail, Simon has a rather chequered past, which includes a period of suspension, on the grounds of having made “a repetition of mistakes”. And Luiz Gonzaga Belluzzo, the president of Palmeiras, once branded him “a bastard” for disallowing an obvious goal against Fluminense.
He also has a reputation for botching perfectly simple penalty decisions.
In the words of Lord Sugar: “I ain’t no artist, but I wanna cut me bleedin’ ears off”. Or something.