NotRonaldo talks his way out of Old Trafford…
Ruud van Nistelrooy, Jaap Stam and Roy Keane all have the same two things in common. All three were indispensable Man Utd players who were very much dispensed of the moment they crossed Sir Alex Ferguson.
The Spoiler can only assume Utd winger Nani, who is currently about as indispensable as a used, porous condom, was blissfully unaware of these events ever having happened, since he’s made the extremely stupid move of criticising Fergie in the tabloid press.
“It is clear the 23-year-old has reached the end of his tether,” crows The Sun, while rubbing their hands at the carnage about to unfold. “In a no-holds barred interview, Nani reveals how:”
He has felt the withering force of Fergie’s infamous hairdryer rage.
He is frustrated at being omitted from big-game starting line-ups.
He believes promises have not been kept.
Three grievances, all of which can be answered with one simple explanation: “It’s because you’re s**t.”
In “an interview with a Portuguese newspaper” (which a minute ago was “an exclusive interview with SunSport”), the former Sporting CP midfielder is quoted as ‘exposing’ a number of searingly obvious, not-worth-losing-your-job-over factoids about life behind the scenes at Old Trafford:
Ferguson is a very complicated man. He’s tough. If things are all right, then they are all right. But when he thinks something is wrong, everything is screwed.
He shouts at players in front of everyone. No one escapes, everybody is the same. Giggs and Neville suffer most, because they have more experience. It is ‘f**k’ here and ‘f**k’ there.
I know it would be better if I scored more goals. People expect more from me and it’s not easy.
But they are also not doing what they said they were going to. I can have a spectacular game but nobody guarantees me I will be starting the next match. It shatters your confidence.
Wonderful. Nani slogs through the media battlefield, risking career and wage, to bring us news from the trenches; and with his dying breath reveals: “Manager gets angry when players under-perform … most experienced expected to know better … five league goals in two years disappointing … ‘one good game in ten’ average not good enough …”
Don’t be surprised if the number 17 shirt is vacated within the next two transfer windows. Still, it’s not all bad. We’re sure ‘Thriller video’-era Michael Jackson impersonators are raking it in at the moment.