Manchester Utd are bored out of their tiny minds

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Captive players aren’t making the most of their trip to the Far East


As men who are only obliged to work for a few hours each day, Manchester Utd’s star players are quite adept at finding ways to while away the hours – Rio Ferdinand spends most of his free time merking, Dimitar Berbatov sleeps until he needs a cigarette and Federico Macheda prowls the streets for ladies who are impressed by a seventeen year old in a sports car.

However, thanks to a combination of terrorism, poor weather and fanatical supporters, Fergie’s men have been confined like prisoners in their luxury hotel in Kuala Lumpur. The Telegraph reports:

Since their arrival last Friday, the United camp has been billeted on its own floor in the Mandarin Oriental, away from the supporters and autograph hunters who spend hours in the hotel lobby attempting to grab a glimpse of their idols.

It is a tale of DVD’s, iPods and sheer mind-numbing boredom for the majority of the players once they have done their training for the day.

Some are lucky enough to be selected for charity or sponsor events, which are viewed as precious opportunities to escape the hotel for just a couple of hours. But those left behind have little else to do, other than run up phone bills, but even attempts to call home are hampered by the + 7 hour time difference.

After heavy rain and a balmy 89 per cent humidity took all the fun out of a golf day yesterday, the team finally jetted off to South Korea this morning. There will be no sightseeing or shopping in Ji-Sung Park’s homeland, however, as obsessive fans are likely to keep them cooped up in their hotel suites once again. Before arriving back in Manchester in nine days time, the players will also have to endure long haul flights to Hangzhou and Munich.

The Spoiler almost felt a shred of sympathy, but then we realized they are earning stupendous amounts of money and gaining international adulation for a job that most men would give their right kugel for. Suddenly, having to watch the same boxset twice through in a luxury hotel suite doesn’t seem so bad.

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