Lionel Messi’s namesake is incredibly disappointing

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Go get me a new name!

messi

In a week where Lionel Messi has been roundly heralded as possibly the best football player ever to grace planet Earth, a nugget of information has recently been uncovered that completely shatters the jinking Argentinean’s aura of god-like genius.

He’s named after Lionel Richie.

LIONEL RICHIE. Seriously.

In a piece on Barcelona’s Wednesday-night homage to the league-winning team of 25 years ago (apparently the absent Terry Venables had something better to do), imaginatively-titled Spanish sports paper Sport reports the golden oldies came out to Richie’s 1986 smash hit, ‘Dancing on the Ceiling’.

You might take it to be a fairly random choice of victory song. Whatever happened to a resounding chorus of We Are The Champions? Well, this casually inserted factoid explains it all:

The singer of afro hair and sequinned white tuxedos inspired Messi’s parents [to name their third child Lionel]

It’s all becoming clear now. The Spoiler will bet you £5 that the ‘country yokel’ hairdo Messi rocked for the first twenty years of his life was in fact some sort of twisted, afro-led homage to the eighties crooner.

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