Lionel Messi and Carlos Tevez vow to reform Oasis

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Jinking Argentinians hope money will heal rift between Gallaghers


Carlos Tevez and Lionel Messi have promised to offer swaggering Mancunians Noel and Liam Gallagher a blank cheque to reform Oasis, if Argentina win the World Cup this year.

Apparently Tev has given up trying to convince everyone to listen to the snake-hipped Latin rhythms of his own band Piola Vago, and converted Diego Maradona’s squad into hardcore Oasis fans – none more so than Lionel Messi, who’s spent the whole World Cup rocking out like it was 1994 all over again.

According to The Sun, Leo has pledged to bring the warring Gallagher brothers together again for a celebratory gig should Argentina triumph in this year’s tournament, and is willing to hand over however much coin is necessary as to make it happen. Says Messi:

“On the plane on the way to the World Cup Carlitos made me listen to their first two albums. I have to say I wasn’t expecting much but it is some of the best material I have ever heard. They are absolutely amazing.

“Their songs are incredible. I would have to say Supersonic and Live Forever are my favourites. I have been listening to their stuff on my iPod dock in the hotel room, on the way to the matches and in the dressing room. I can’t believe it’s taken me all this time to finally listen to them.

“I’ve been watching their live performances on YouTube and they look like they’d be amazing to see in concert. I asked Carlitos if we could go and see them in Manchester or London in concert, but he told me they have split up.

“I showed the rest of the boys in the Argentina squad their stuff and I promise you, everybody absolutely loves it.

“We have agreed that if we win the World Cup we want to fly them over to Argentina for our celebration party. We just need them to name their price.”

Should the Gallaghers oblige, it’ll come as a complete punch in the balls to Cristiano Ronaldo, who had his own request for a private gig rejected last year, even after trying to sweeten the band with free tickets to El Clasico.

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