Hammers finally get Avram, Boateng signs for City and Joe Cole could be crossing London

Avram studies directions to Newham Baths and Sauna

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The worst kept secret in football has finally been made official, with Avram Grant spending this morning Google Mapping the best route around east London’s finest brothels after signing a four-year deal to replace Gianfranco Zola as West Ham’s new boss.

Arsenal are holding firm on Cesc Fabregas, snubbing Barcelona’s £29m formal offer even after the Catalan club offered to chuck in the additional sweetner of taking their £21m misfit defender Dmytro Chygrynskiy on loan.

While the Gunners might not be letting anyone out, they’re certainly accepting new members. Rumors are emerging out-of-contract Joe Cole has already signed a three year contract at the Emirates.

The Daily Mail is reporting goalkeepers are currently hot property, with Sunderland weighing up the possibility of dumping Craig Gordon for £6m Chris Kirkland, and Fulham giving their number 1 shirt to David James, should Mark Schwarzer leave for Arsenal.

Midfielder Jerome Boateng, brother of Ballack-crippler Kevin-Prince Boateng, has announced he’ll be a Man City player by the time the World Cup starts, having left Hamburg in an £11m deal. The 21-year-old will have a medical at Eastlands before jetting off to Germany’s World Cup squad on Sunday.

Meanwhile, Inter Milan’s Maicon has announced he definitely won’t be a Man City player, ever, after pledging his allegiance to Jose Mourinho. Says the Brazilian full-back: “I’ll say again to avoid misunderstanding: I want to play in Madrid, I do not want to go to City. I repeat, I have nothing with the English club.”

Elsewhere in the Premier League, the Mirror say Burnley’s Steven Fletcher has signed a four year, £20,000p/w deal with Wolves, subject to a medical, while Fulham have baffled fans by wrapped up a £2m deal for not-particularly-impressive ex-Pompey forward Frederic Piquionne.

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