Fernando Torres is the player most men would sleep with “if they had to.”

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Impact of Liverpool’s Spaniard more profound than originally thought

Fernando Torres

In response to this week’s poll of 2,500 women by that website which bought Ebbsfleet, and which determined that Wayne Rooney is the ugliest player in the world, we asked our users to take a deep breath and explore their feelings about players at the other end of the scale. Results show that Fernando Torres is the player most men would sleep with “if they had to go with a Premier League player.”

Torres was by far and away the winner with 35 per cent of the total vote. One respondent said “He’s more attractive than my last girlfriend,” and another “I’d probably go with him even if I didn’t have to.”

Second place went to Spurs’ Jermain Jenas (“I found myself gripping the remote a little more tightly than a man should when he scored the other night.”)

Third was Blackburn’s Roque Santa Cruz (“To my great shame, he recently featured in an erotic dream.”)

The rest of the list is:

  1. David James (“Would bring a certain maturity to the occasion.”)
  2. Theo Walcott (“Probably wouldn’t want to try anything too complicated.”)
  3. Nani (“Smooth”)
  4. Ricardo Carvalho (“Would probably take you to the theatre first.”)
  5. Shaun Wright Phillips (“Petite” and “bubbly”)
  6. Kaka, who made it in spite of not playing in England (“I feel it would be the best way to show my gratitude for what he did to United.”)
  7. Jeremy Aliadiere (“Looks like he smells nice”)

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